ももえのたんじょうび！

ももえちゃん、お誕生日おめでとう♪

２１歳、合法的にお酒が飲めるようになったあなたをI envy youです。笑

昨日のパーティーは楽しかったな☆☆

今日はご機嫌なちぐです♪

 

But I’m kind of busy><

Actually, I even don’t have time to write blog…

But because I wanna record my days, I write…!

 

This week, I was kind of tired because of lacking of sleep and busier schedule.

I began to speak only in English, but the more I speak in English, the more I realized the poorness of my English.

I think I forgot how to speak in English.

Of course I had spoken in English every day before I began this attempt, but I think I spoke better English in fall term.

I often eat lunch with American friends, but I still cannot catch their words.

I still have to ask what they said again and again.

 

Moreover, on Monday, I had easy presentation on my drawings.

Though it was very sudden order, I thought I can make myself understood.

But I couldn’t very much… I think I couldn’t.

So I was kind of depressed. This fact also exhausted me.

I was very happy because when I was speaking, my classmates nodded strongly to show me that they understand me. What a nice guys…! :,(

But I have to try hard.

 

I think what is important is to be aggressive.

It’s not good only to listen to conversation.

I have to join it and ask anything which I couldn’t understand.

 

My English skill is still very poor.

I hate reading and writing. I’m not good at speaking. And I’m too shy.

I often ask myself “What have I done in the US?” And I’m depressed.

Umm… but actually, I gained many things.

I got experience, I got good friends, and I got new point of views.

They are what I sought, so when I think about it, I’m satisfied and don’t feel rush, so maybe I don’t have to feel nervous so much.

Maybe I’m asking me “Have I done what the students who studied abroad are supposed to do?”

I think I’m afraid of what I’ll be said after I go back to Japan.

 

Yeah, I have to be confident.

I got what I want in the U.S.

 

So what should I do?

 

I want to study hard.

Philosophy is very interesting.

Drawing is difficult, but very fun.

Graphic design is also fun.

I want to gain knowledge and skill as much as I can.

 

Try hard try hard.

I can do it!

 

Last week, I experienced something happy.

My drawing teacher said me that I understand the best what we are supposed to do in the class.

Recently, my graphic design teacher says good-bye to me every time when the class is over. Moreover, she was very pleased when I saw her in senior student’s exhibition. (Actually, I went there by chance. lol)

And when I said good-bye to Ikemen, he gave me a post card which announces his exhibition!

Everyone cooperate me to speak in English and being me chance to speak in English.

How happy I am.

 

But I have spoke in Japanese since last night!

Waaaaaaa-------------------------baka-----------

I’m thinking.

Can I allow me to speak in Japanese only over weekends?

Does it spoil me?

Even if I feel sad because I can’t make myself understood, it’s my fault. So I have to try hard to speak in English especially at such like time.

Can I stand? I have to stand.

I hope I can stand.

I have to stand.

 

 

Yesterday, Momoe made stew in Murray basement.

Actually, I planned to take part in galley walk last night. But somehow I couldn’t, so I was able to go there.

I expected to meet Americans during the galley walk, so I was kind of depressed, but it was very good to join the meal!

Her stew was really good, I had relaxing time talking with Japanese friends, and I had opportunity to speak to American who is new for me!

Momoe brought her classmate to do out-class work. She was very good girl. She listened to me patiently and she spoke to me. It was nice to talk with her!

Thank you for inviting me, Momoe!

 

After that, we had birthday party for Momoe in Akari’s place!

It was very good party! I was happy to see she was pleased^^

I also had lots of fun!

We ate ice cream cake which was from Cold Stone!

It was really good!!!

But…

French friends played with the cake! Lol

They put cram on us!!

And sticked our hair with used forks with cream!!

It was really fun, but surprising for me. Lol

And, I talked much with Momoe’s friend. She was also new for me, but it was really nice to talk to her^^

I found that I’m really really timid yesterday.

I don’t know what to do!

Am I thinking too much?

But I have to do something to change something…

But do I really want to change something?

I always think too much and fail.

But I can’t stop thinking! Dilemma...