週末だーーーい ２

これが帰った後の生活にどう影響するのかなー
帰ったら、前とはちょっと違う生活をし始めるのかなぁ、私？
私、アメリカでたくさん変わったかなー？
色々経験したし、いろんな人と友達になったから、変わった気がする
でも変わってない気もする。
もうどのくらい、どこが変わったのかわからないくらい
変った部分が自分になったのかな？
まぁあんまり意識してないようにしてるって言うのもありますが。
よくわかりませんが。

なんか今まで自分が変わるのっていやで
「今の自分」が変ってしまったらいろんなものを失くしてしまう気がして
どうにか「自分」をキープしようとてたところがあったと思うんだけど
別に変ってもいいのかもーって
最近思います。
変わんなきゃ、新しい楽しみとか、経験とか
手に入らないからねー

最近は、自分にもチョイスがあると言う考え方を
だんだん受け入れつつあります。
まだまだ若いので
色々選択肢があります。
これよいことやね。

なんか変わって大事な部分をなくすのは怖いけど
でもそれってホントに大事なのかな
自分が思ってるほど
大事なことじゃないのかもしれない。
もっと大事なことがあるのかもしれないなー
もっと大事なことを見つけられれば、今大事なものをもっとうまく大事にできるのかもしれないな。
だといいですけどねぇ。

帰ったらどうしようかな
なにしようかなー☆
バイトどうしよー何しよー
もう暇な廃人には戻らないようにしよー笑
本をたくさん読みたいなぁ
色々知識を増やしたい。（これいつも言ってるけどいつも達成できない。笑）
新しtomorroい眼鏡が欲しい。気づいたらもうこれ３年くらい使ってるわ。
髪を明るくしてメガネを暗い色にするというじゅんぺい案を採用してみようかなぁ。
しかし髪の色はバイトによるな。
可愛い服も着たいなー
せっかく東京に住んでるんだから、もっと町に出て遊びたいな
またカフェにケーキ食べにいこー！
色々展示会とか美術館とかも見に行こう。
デジイチも欲しい。あれってアメリカで買った方が安いのかなーどうなんだろう。
うーん楽しむためにはお金が必要ね
バイト頑張ろう、帰ったら。

でもよいことね
日本にいた頃は
別にしたいこともなく
特に欲しい物もなく
毎日楽しかったけど、毎日をこなすだけなところがあったからな
いや、他にもっともっと欲しいものがあって
そっちを手に入れて、キープするのに精一杯だったんだな
でも、今はもう持ってるからな。色々もらえたからな
たぶん大丈夫かな。もっと余分に楽しめるものを手に入れよう。
欲しいものを手に入れようとすることは大事ね。
状況が恵まれてるんだから、与えてもらえてるんだから、めいっぱい活用しなきゃね。
あーあー美味しいもの食べに行きたいな～

日本に帰ったらもっと電話使おうかなー
てか自分から連絡をする癖をつけようかな。
連絡不精だからな・・・

coe離れるのさみしいさみしい、悲しい
でも日本に帰るのがすごくすごく楽しみ
早くサークルのみんなに会いたいよー
日本でcoeのみんなに会うのもなんだか楽しみ　笑
遊ぼうねー！

この留学で自分がどう変わったのか
日本に帰ったら分かるかな？

てか今、相沢先生（文構の先生）のブログ見たら桜が満開だった。
もう散っちゃっただろうね＞＜
いいなーいいなー私もお花見したかった！！！
桜見たす！

週末だーーーい １

わーいわーい
でももう土曜日の午後だ。はやすぎるよーー＞＜
ちぐです。

それにしてもどんどん酔うねー昨日はわしゃー以来くらいの醜態だった気がするのですが…こわー；；
テンションが下がらず帰りたがらない私を受け入れてくれた、そして鍵をベッカの部屋に忘れた私を泊めてくれたみおちゃんに感謝！笑

日本に居る時はあんま酔わなかったんだけどなー
まぁ、coeに居る時は平日激忙→パーティーだし
ダンスやら何やらで座ったままでもないし
日本みたいにご飯と一緒にってわけでもないしね～
そりゃ日本に居た時みたいにはいかないよね。

昨日は特に
レポートの締め切りだったからあんま寝てなかったし
１時間くらい歩いたし
予定つめつめだったからにゃー
てかよく起きれてたなー笑

いやでも楽しかったなー昨日☆
充実してた！

セキュリティが来ちゃって、ベッカにはホントに申し訳なかったけど…。。
ごめんね～～パーティー開いてくれてホントありがとうだね＞＜

パーティーでは、いつもと違ってフランスの曲が流れてたんだけど
そのせいかフランス人のテンションが高くて
人数が少なくて十分に動けるスペースがあったのもあり
なんかサザエさん行列みたいなことしたりして
かなりおかしかったｗ
あの子たちともあと３週間しか一緒にいられないなんてな
ここではいつも会ってるけど
フランスに帰っちゃったらホントにホントに会えなくなっちゃうんだなぁ
さみしいなー＞＜
きょーすけもみおちゃんもまほちゃんもあかりちゃんもごうも
日本に帰ったら今みたいにすぐ会えなくなっちゃうな
さみしいなーさみしいなー
そんなかんじで、昨日はさみしいねって話をしてました。笑
でもきょうすけの言うとおり、さみしいと思えるくらい仲良くなれたのが素敵なことよね☆☆

昨日達也とは、今すごくリア充してるって話をしてましたｗ
ねーよい傾向よねー
なんか今はこの生活が普通だけど
前は想像もできなかったなぁ
毎週末２夜連続でパーティーとか
みんなで当たり前のようにベトナム料理食べに行ったりとか
めんどくさいトラブルもいろいろあったりするけど
そのおかげで今までは見えなかった色んな世界が見えたし
いろんな事に対して、そういうのもありなんだ！って思えるようになったし
色々、前はできなかったことができるようになった
ねー
アメリカでリア充できるとはねw

Down town in Cedar Rapids

やばーい
宿題終わらん。
終わらん！！！
遊びすぎたー＞＜
ちぐです。

Today, I went to a coffee shop with my friend.
When we talked before, she said she want to try differnt restaurants, so we decided to go there together♪
After lunch, We went to Hy-Bee.
It was windy, but sunny. It was nice!
So we decided to take a walk to downtown☆☆

Because of last year's flood, most stores in downtown were closed.
But it was still new and fun for us^^
We went to anothr coffee shop and talked~
And came back!

まぁ、なんていうか散歩しただけですが、癒しだったｗ
もっといい友達になれたらいいなー＾＾

Heat Capacity-type 03

Engraved on the moonとウルワシキセカイ（T.M.の歌）をyoutubeで発見しました。
ウルワシキセカイは英語でGraceful worldです。
しかも今日、Heat Capacty-type 03も発見しました。
幸せ！！
a.b.s.のJAPは５月に発売です。
T.M.の活動はもうないんでしょうか。レゾナンスで終わるなんてそんなの嫌やぁぁぁぁ
ちぐです。

Tomorrow, all classes will be canceled because there will be many conferences on campus.

But I have piano lesson and I have paper whose due is on Friday…
umm...I should have done with the paper ><

 

After Intro to Philosophy, I met Korean friend and made Japanese conversation.

Because I missed to borrow magazine from Japanese friend, I brought article about Japanese superstition, like “Don’t cut your nail at night, or you can’t witness your parents’ death.”

It was hard to explain Japanese traditional things. For example, “Hinadan,” “Arare,” “Chabasira.”

But it was interesting to tell her Japanese culture.

It was sad that I couldn’t explain well about Japanese things in English.

I need more and more practice.

 

After the conversation, I met American friend and had a chat.

It was fun^^

She said that she will make presentation on bacteria tomorrow. (Her major is biology.)

Maybe...I will…go? Lol

Bacteria…

 

After that, I went to Dows and worked on my project.

In these weeks, I made a graphic for the movie of my classmate’s biography using two spot color channel.

Of course, the movie is fiction. We had to make a graphic imagining the classmate.

My partner was really cute girl, so I had fun to made cute graphic. But it was kind of bad for me.

I should have think more about color, theme and images…

So, I had hard time to put a title for it.

My partner made a graphic for me and the title of it is “Miso soup.”

How cute it is!!! I was happy to see that^^

 

One of my classmates used fonts efficiently.

His work is always cool!
Seeing his graphic, I become to think that I want to be familiar with typography.

I remember that when I went to ggg with friends of the club, it had an exhibition about typography.

But I couldn’t understand how important typography is. I thought they were mere combination of letters.

But, how difficult it is to combine the letters!

I found that I am not able to deal with letters.

I want to come to handle it better—

I have to see many things.

 

After the class, I talked to a classmate. I talked to her for the first time!

(Actually, before she talked to me, she said that she likes my work! Yey!)

She used Dreamweaver and her work was really cool. She showed it to me and talked gently^^

I was really really timid to talk to the classmates.

But maybe I didn’t have to be so timid.

Anyway, it was nice to talk to her, though it was very short time.

Oh, My Chinese friend texted to me now!
We’ll go to coffee shop tomorrow, before piano lesson♪ Yey!
She's really gentle and wise girl. I'm looking forward to tomorrow～

I can do it, I can make it, if anything!

ももえのたんじょうび！

ももえちゃん、お誕生日おめでとう♪

２１歳、合法的にお酒が飲めるようになったあなたをI envy youです。笑

昨日のパーティーは楽しかったな☆☆

今日はご機嫌なちぐです♪

 

But I’m kind of busy><

Actually, I even don’t have time to write blog…

But because I wanna record my days, I write…!

 

This week, I was kind of tired because of lacking of sleep and busier schedule.

I began to speak only in English, but the more I speak in English, the more I realized the poorness of my English.

I think I forgot how to speak in English.

Of course I had spoken in English every day before I began this attempt, but I think I spoke better English in fall term.

I often eat lunch with American friends, but I still cannot catch their words.

I still have to ask what they said again and again.

 

Moreover, on Monday, I had easy presentation on my drawings.

Though it was very sudden order, I thought I can make myself understood.

But I couldn’t very much… I think I couldn’t.

So I was kind of depressed. This fact also exhausted me.

I was very happy because when I was speaking, my classmates nodded strongly to show me that they understand me. What a nice guys…! :,(

But I have to try hard.

 

I think what is important is to be aggressive.

It’s not good only to listen to conversation.

I have to join it and ask anything which I couldn’t understand.

 

My English skill is still very poor.

I hate reading and writing. I’m not good at speaking. And I’m too shy.

I often ask myself “What have I done in the US?” And I’m depressed.

Umm… but actually, I gained many things.

I got experience, I got good friends, and I got new point of views.

They are what I sought, so when I think about it, I’m satisfied and don’t feel rush, so maybe I don’t have to feel nervous so much.

Maybe I’m asking me “Have I done what the students who studied abroad are supposed to do?”

I think I’m afraid of what I’ll be said after I go back to Japan.

 

Yeah, I have to be confident.

I got what I want in the U.S.

 

So what should I do?

 

I want to study hard.

Philosophy is very interesting.

Drawing is difficult, but very fun.

Graphic design is also fun.

I want to gain knowledge and skill as much as I can.

 

Try hard try hard.

I can do it!

 

Last week, I experienced something happy.

My drawing teacher said me that I understand the best what we are supposed to do in the class.

Recently, my graphic design teacher says good-bye to me every time when the class is over. Moreover, she was very pleased when I saw her in senior student’s exhibition. (Actually, I went there by chance. lol)

And when I said good-bye to Ikemen, he gave me a post card which announces his exhibition!

Everyone cooperate me to speak in English and being me chance to speak in English.

How happy I am.

 

But I have spoke in Japanese since last night!

Waaaaaaa-------------------------baka-----------

I’m thinking.

Can I allow me to speak in Japanese only over weekends?

Does it spoil me?

Even if I feel sad because I can’t make myself understood, it’s my fault. So I have to try hard to speak in English especially at such like time.

Can I stand? I have to stand.

I hope I can stand.

I have to stand.

 

 

Yesterday, Momoe made stew in Murray basement.

Actually, I planned to take part in galley walk last night. But somehow I couldn’t, so I was able to go there.

I expected to meet Americans during the galley walk, so I was kind of depressed, but it was very good to join the meal!

Her stew was really good, I had relaxing time talking with Japanese friends, and I had opportunity to speak to American who is new for me!

Momoe brought her classmate to do out-class work. She was very good girl. She listened to me patiently and she spoke to me. It was nice to talk with her!

Thank you for inviting me, Momoe!

 

After that, we had birthday party for Momoe in Akari’s place!

It was very good party! I was happy to see she was pleased^^

I also had lots of fun!

We ate ice cream cake which was from Cold Stone!

It was really good!!!

But…

French friends played with the cake! Lol

They put cram on us!!

And sticked our hair with used forks with cream!!

It was really fun, but surprising for me. Lol

And, I talked much with Momoe’s friend. She was also new for me, but it was really nice to talk to her^^

I found that I’m really really timid yesterday.

I don’t know what to do!

Am I thinking too much?

But I have to do something to change something…

But do I really want to change something?

I always think too much and fail.

But I can’t stop thinking! Dilemma...